Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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