she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
