shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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