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i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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