let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize