Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
