I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
