i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
