My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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