maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
tell me about the fingering
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