Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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