Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
