Bisexual people are plain selfish.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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