have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
