Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so let's talk penis.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
