i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.