sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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