when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.