Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee