Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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