she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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