You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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