Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
