yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
