the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
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if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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