Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You must be Logged in to post a comment
wow THIS is fake. your a dumbass. you cant use purell as lube you fcuking idiot. its ALCOHOL based and other than your vagina being on fire, and possibly fucking up your sytsem, you'd be even more dry.
get a life dumbass
Both cologne and purell would instantly burn like hell. Firstly, if a guy is dumb enough to use either of these on your pussy, leave him. Secondly, if you're dumb enough to let him, you deserve the pain, biatch.
I love that there was a grammar Nazi Nazi fail there. I do think it's important to not be a dumbass yourself while in the process of calling someone a dumbass.
Also, perhaps one would be inclined to purchase their own lube after being exposed to so much painful experimentation. In fact, who can afford a hotel room, but has to 'save up' for lube?
you are calling someone a dumbass when you're the one using the possessive "your" instead of the contraction "you're". english fail.
11:30... I think the grammar nazi was referring to the part where 11:11 said "your a dumbass". A for effort though.
I invented the phrase Grammar Nazi, I would like my cookie now!!
I once put tiger balm on my back after working out at home, thought I washed it all off my hands, got bored, then started to jerk it. The burning was like camping. It was in tents.
Haha 9:03! Spot on. He's a douche. He sucks at life. But she allows it. They deserve each other
if you cant get wet enough to start having sex, THEN DONT HAVE IT! the only problem i've ever had was when we've been doing it for too long, and its just not doing it for me any longer. and then that shit hurts, and i let him kno too.
11:30, perhaps you should pay closer attention. I'm going to assume that 11:14 was referring to 11:11's statement, "your a dumbass." He/she should have used "you're" in that case.
drink more water, and try some foreplay
Any girl that can't get wet doesn't deserve someone to spend money on them, even if it's line.
That is one dry fucking pussy.
LOL Purell and and cologne? At least your dried up pussy won't smell up. But it's gonna burn. Ouchies :(
Or you need to grow a backbone
wtf? Lube is not expensive. Your boyfriend is an idiot, and you're even dumber than he is to let him use any of that stuff on you. If you can't get wet and you can't find real lube then you don't need to be having sex. OMG! To think they let people like you procreate.
That is fucking disgusting and if you have THAT much trouble getting wet, you should really go to the doctor...
Grow up and have some respect for your body and yourself. Olive oil? Tanning oil? lotion? Purell? cologne even. Geez girl. Isn't that just a tad bit ridiculous?! Have a little bit of self esteem. I'm not adverse to KY (it makes the sex that more amazing). But Im not letting anyone put any of that crap in my vagina.
cologne and purell. poor guy.
Have any of you ever even had sex before? I don't think the OP specifically said "when he first sticks it in me". After fucking for a significant period of time, most women begin to get a little bit dry. That's when throwing in a little lube is good. Personally, I'm allergic to most lube (not to mention earrings, make-up, grass, and most other things), so spit works just fine. Some of that stuff just sounds nasty though.
maybe they shouldn't be hooking up if she isn't attracted to him enough to get naturally wet.
try having sex all day. YES YOU FUCKING DRY UP! idiots.
yeah daddy i was born to ride! if i suck your dick will you put it inside meeee
i couldn't have said it better, 11:42.
i am going to assume that anyone who gives a shit about spelling a punctuation on a message board is dumb cunt
He needs to save up for KY?! Wow! You've got a winner there girl.
Cologne? Feel the burn. Who on earth would be stupid enough to use that as lube? What moron of a woman would ever let him try anything else afterwards?
Or you could just get wet like a normal female.
if it weren't for the 2nd part of the text, i would've thought it was right on, because she did say "things used as lube ON me", as in on her body, not in her vagina. i've had guys use spit, body lotion, KY, whatever was handy if they were titty fucking me. that's safe and fun. but a biiiiig "no no" to putting anything like the above inside one's vagina. yikes.
hahah this is a great way to get back at girl who sucks at life....gonna keep that in mind! party on wayne!
either she's not attracted to him or he's circumcised, either way it sucks
You're pretty gross.
This is DC right? figures...dumbasses only down there, it actually sounds like this could have been my ex MJ (not Michael Jackson or Jordan) she was as dry as the Sahara because she had what her gyno described as a "sensitive Vagina"
maybe you should watch porn or something before you start fucking.
That's sad that your dude can't even get you wet. Find a new guy who knows what he is doing.
wow, most of you people are really, REALLY, stupid.
<-- grammar nazi
to those of you who tried to disprove me: go fuck yourselves
to those of you who aren't morons: you're alright =D
purell and cologne?? wouldnt that hurt????
God save us all from dry pussy.
Dude ky is only 6 bucks come on now
They should both be sterilized. And he should lose his dick. He'd do better with strap on.
yea...purell burns... a lot... some guys are dumb. But seriously, you're still with this guy? At least my experience was a one night stand...
to all of you who are saying fake: maybe he TRIED to use the cologne and purell and she was like "what the fuck? no!" or simply didnt know what he was trying to use and once it was in she said "what the fuck? no!" and i agree when people go all grammar nazi on people who make moronic mistakes whilst calling someone a moron.
Purell, cologne? Tell him to use Neosporin next time, if only to heal your now burnt vagina.
Who cares... People use lube. I've used shampoo hahaha
Well the 11:14 grammar Nazi is a FAIL. 11:11 was correct....it is your vagina and your system, not "you're (you are) vigina" or "you're (you are) system". Great job A-hole.
cologne and purell would be painful. for both people. why would you use that? it wouldnt even work
Bleach works well too. Especially for anal, it leaves her back door nice and clean.
Srsly... VICKS Vapo-rub works the best, try it yourself today... you'll never be the same!!!
fuck dude i'm surprised this chick hasn't gotten a uti/yeast infection from this shit
purell?? really?? i'll be damned if any alcohol makes its way up my vag
Wait... after one time with purell/cologne you let him back IN?! Sounds like you mentally deserve each other.
fake fake fake. and you didn't invent grammar nazi, douchebag.
definitely this lady has a case of dead snatch. why even bother to lube it up? walk away ... no, run away
Lol @ 9:03pm. I couldn't agree more.
1:20, if she's dry after a bit of the sex, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. Try to satisfy the woman a little bit and not focus on yourself. I've never gotten dry in the middle of sex. WTF are you doing?
2:07, Grammar Nazi fail. Grammar Nazis type in correct English using full sentences.
Purell is pure alcohol...gonna do nothing but dry you out. Olive oil, however is an accetable substitute. But seriously, WTF!
You have to lick it before you stick it
I know a girl that lost her virginity with the aid of olive oil. They were both really drink though. I've used aveeno lotion before for anal. No problems.
From the sounds of it he was try to make some kind of smelly concaxion out of your v.
1:10 - how would the guy being circumcised be a problem? never heard that before, usually the other way around