he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
bring money and cleavage
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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