dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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