Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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