that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
