At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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