someone threw a dead crab at me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize