We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
