shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
