i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
