if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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