i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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