What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
