He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize