Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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