So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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