Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Soap is not a condiment
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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