we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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