My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
