this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
