We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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