i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Loading more great texts...