So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
