I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
