xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
