saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
