I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
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I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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