i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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