I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
