so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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