Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
