It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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