hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
