I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
