that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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