i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We left the knife in your bed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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