Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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