omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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