She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
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Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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