whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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