Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
