no, he came in my armpit
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize