I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
