i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
