so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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